ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
