okay pat passed out under dana's car
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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