I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
