It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You need Xanax blowdarts
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My feet surprised me
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
