I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
