I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
