My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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