My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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