If that was your dad, he is hot
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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