it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
