there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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