I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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