Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
