That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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