he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
