K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
