I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
