This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
