Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
