i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
