Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
