Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
