it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
