My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
