your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
