I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I can't turn off my feet"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
