Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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