hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
