I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Pants are for mortals
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
