I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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