I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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