you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
