Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have demons in me.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
