I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my shit smells like andre
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
how does that bad decision feel?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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