Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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