my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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