omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
