You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
