Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
