Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
