Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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