Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
