worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
