Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
