I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I will be naked everywhere
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
