he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I need mimosas to revive my soul
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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