Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
