I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
