This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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