I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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