Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
