I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
PANTIES FOUND
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
