I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
