My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
being pregnant is like rehab
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
