Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
