problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
