Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He kissed a someone with a penis
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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